My Personal Relationship with God (How it all began)

I grew up in a loving home with a wonderful family. In many ways, it was very much like “Leave it to Beaver” – only I was a bit more like Eddie Haskell (It’s a rough parallel, but you get the idea). I got in trouble quite a bit (or at least that’s how I remember it). I think it was a combination of being overly curious and being very interested in having people like me… even to the extent I would compromise what I knew to be right just to make someone happy with me.

My sophomore year of high school was a wild year for me. During the fall of that year, I lost my virginity at the whopping age of 15 and then was expelled from my religious boarding school when I returned after Christmas break because they found out I’d had sex (something I’d signed an agreement that I would not do). To make matters worse, I had been sexually assaulted over that Christmas break (a fact I didn’t mention for the next five years). It wasn’t a good time for me. I was “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” and looking for God in the wrong places too.

Though I grew up in a house that honored God, I dabbled in the occult and new age – tarot, crystals, the works. I finally stopped looking and simply embraced a hedonistic lifestyle and to the extreme.

Among many others, my Aunt and Uncle in Boca Raton witnessed the Lord’s goodness to me on many occasions; but ultimately, it was their lives not their words that drew me in. They had something I wanted. They had a peace, joy and love for others that was contagious and exhilarating. I loved to be around them and made visits to seem them as often as possible.

They continued to love me, and share with me God’s greatness. They had brought me to Calvary Chapel before, and each time I’d been struck by both the message and the congregation. But on 8 February 1997, Bob Coy (their pastor at the time) gave a teaching from Romans chapter 1, “Man Without Excuse”, and the Lord finally got my attention.

That night alone in my grandparents’ swimming pool, I gave my life to Christ. I wasn’t even sure what it meant or how it might change me, but I wanted it. That more than anything surprised me because I thought I was happy – everyone thought I was happy – but I had a hole inside me that only God could fill and I needed Him even though at the time I didn’t know how badly. That was February 1997.

My life was changed dramatically for the better! I wish I could say that everything has been perfect since that day, but the reality is – I am still human and still a sinner. What I rejoice in though, is God’s ability to use all my stupid mistakes for His own good and the fact that He continues to protect and bless me.

As time has gone by the Holy Spirit continues to convict me one issue at a time – and (not surprisingly), His timing is perfect.

This is my prayer Lord…I thank You for being holy and sovereign. I thank You for loving us and wanting a relationship with us. I just pray for Your blessing upon anyone who happens upon this page – this site. I ask Lord that You might use this to speak to their hearts so that they might have the peace that only You can give them. To You be the honor and glory forever. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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One Reply to “My Personal Relationship with God (How it all began)”

  1. I got saved out of a World Harvest tract in my backyard, all by myself at the age of 10. It’s sort of been a precursor for how i learn a lot of things: alone. i had a terrible need to people please and relate to compromising, which finally caught up with me in my mid-20s. God wiped 12 people out of my life.

    i’m astonished that i was EVER that person. but a minister friend, Mark Kenney said to me once “if you can’t make a rational decision, there’s oppression involved”. Ah, yes. i can see that now.

    only in the last, well, the last year really have i enjoyed the alone time in terms of not having a consistant place to fellowship. it’s removed my -need- to be accepted or -have- to have someone prophecy over me… i can sit in my car with John Belt in the CD player, see a bird fly by & get a revelation. i can -breathe- holy ghost. all by myself.

    blessings to you, color bringer, banner bearer and Jesus seeker 🙂

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