My Jealous Lover & Psalm 32

There’s a woman who sends me emails everyday.  I should say forwards me emails.  And I don’t know her.  Frankly, it drives me a bit nuts.  So this evening when I got a nudge that told me to open her email from today I knew it was God.

It was called Driven to the Heart of Our Lord, by Love Worth Finding Ministries

BIBLE MEDITATION:
Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.’ Psalm 32:1

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:
The worst thing that could happen to sinful people would be to live in a perfect environment. If God had left Adam in the Garden of Eden, Adam would not have known that he had the fatal infection of sin, and he would not have sought the remedy for sin, which he found in the shedding of blood. Problems are designed, not to crush us, but to crowd us to Christ who provided the remedy for sin by shedding His blood on the cross. The problem of sin is real and terrible, but it brings with it the possibility that we can be forgiven and clothed in the righteousness of Christ.

ACTION POINT:
When was the last time you thanked God for the problems in your life? Think of them as vehicles that drive you to the heart of your Lord.

Wow.  That action point sounded a lot like my crazy thought the other night.  Couple that with the fact that here I was back in Psalm 32 like last night at church… I thought I should go look at the whole thing.  So here it is in the Amplified translation:

1BLESSED (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is he who has forgiveness of his transgression continually exercised upon him, whose sin is covered.

2Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long.

4For day and night Your hand [of displeasure] was heavy upon me; my moisture was turned into the drought of summer. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

5I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord [continually unfolding the past till all is told]–then You [instantly] forgave me the guilt and iniquity of my sin. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

6For this [forgiveness] let everyone who is godly pray–pray to You in a time when You may be found; surely when the great waters [of trial] overflow, they shall not reach [the spirit in] him.

7You are a hiding place for me; You, Lord, preserve me from trouble, You surround me with songs and shouts of deliverance. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

8I [the Lord] will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.

9Be not like the horse or the mule, which lack understanding, which must have their mouths held firm with bit and bridle, or else they will not come with you.

10Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on the Lord shall be compassed about with mercy and with loving-kindness.

11Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you [uncompromisingly] righteous [you who are upright and in right standing with Him]; shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Again, wow!  So much there.  God, I don’t want to be a mule.  I want to respond gently and quickly to Your touch – Your nudge.  I want Your instruction and teaching, Your counsel, and Your eye to be on me.  I want Your blessing!!!

I think again about the situation on Monday – the correction You were bringing… You do not want to share me.  That is lovely… and fiercesome.

I went back and looked at my word from Brandon at IHOP-KC

…in this season He has had you hedged in, with thorns on every side, because He’s jealous about you and Him right now, about your time and your season right now, and about it being upward just between you and Him talking.

Thorns are prickly!  They even hurt a bit, but they’re being used to show me the boundaries… beautiful boundaries… boundaries of my Jealous Lover who desires my whole heart… the One who believes me as I sing Misty Edwards’ song You Won’t Relent:

You won’t relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I’ll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

I should listen to myself… His jealousy is the fiery jealousy I once coveted when he gave it to another through one of my scarves named Fiercely Jealous Lover.  At the time when I told Him I was jealous, He showed me we were in a different place in our love then… more like a deep trust place.  Now I find myself in the coveted, passionate place and realize the intensity is more than I expected and almost a bit overwhelming!  What I’d said in the scarf letter feels true for me now…

He passionately loves you and deeply covets your time and your heart. He battles for you – I saw Him as a mighty warrior and you as His precious lady He was willing to die to save. He wants to go deeper with you – for you to get lost in His presence… He is so incredibly passionate about you! I can feel it and it makes me want to burst! And He’s poured that passion in you – for a very specific purpose and calling – one that will completely fulfill you as you walk in it.

I also sense an unwillingness to compromise. He doesn’t want second best – He wants all your heart, not part of it, not even most of it. He covets all of you! Because He has made you who you are because you are pleasing to Him! Oh how He loves you! Oh my – being able to feel this is a little like walking in on a couple in their bedroom! Let me say this one more time just in case you missed it… He is totally and completely passionate about you! Not a gentle wooing kind of love – like a sweep you off your feet and wrap you up to safety in His arms kind of love.

The verse that went with it was James 4:5 (in context)

If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find.

SELAH!

Lord, I don’t want to tease You.  To sing of how my heart is Yours and then pour it out before a television or whatever instead of giving it to You as I’ve pledged to.  Show me what this looks like.  I want to please You.  I want to bask in the fullness of the violent love You have for me.  I don’t want to miss this season… to zombie away to numb-numb-ville and miss all that I’ve asked You for for years!

Hedge me in – show me the boundaries – keep me in Your secret place.  Help me understand what all this means and what You’re doing it.  I trust You and I want it, but I would like to fully understand why if that’s ok… but if not that’s ok too.

Sweep me away…

2 thoughts on “My Jealous Lover & Psalm 32

  1. Aww, look at all of his little whispers coming together. His voice is growing. 🙂 May his protection be around you through this season – that you may learn what you need to learn, but be safe in his hands while learning. I love you Mama, and love to see his hand working out the little things he has said to you.

  2. Pingback: Roadblocks and Inconveniences – Dyed4you Ministries

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