After my recent post How-to Deal with Jealousy and Judgment, someone contacted me with a candid question about how-to deal with our own feelings of jealousy. I so appreciated the candor of the question because the truth is we ALL struggle with feelings of jealousy sometimes, so it’s important to know how to deal with them. In this video I share my method, which in short is refusing to compare and taking thoughts captive coupled with intentional blessing.
We have all dealt with feelings of jealousy or compared ourselves to others, it’s almost human nature to do so. The initial thoughts themselves aren’t the real issue, it’s what we do with them. So I address this issue with a two pronged approach: refusing to compare and rejecting jealous thoughts choosing instead to bless.
A paradigm shift (which I touched on in my previous post, How-to Deal with Jealousy and Judgment) that is essential to victory in the area of jealousy is refusing to operate in comparison and instead trusting we each have a vital role – regardless of perceived size. There is room for ALL of us. In 1 Corinthians 12:22-25 (VOICE) we’re reminded that each part has value, each part is essential, and that we shouldn’t judge importance based on our natural understanding because it will cause us to judge amiss.
…The members who seem to have the weaker functions are necessary to keep the body moving; the body parts that seem less important we treat as some of the most valuable; and those unfit, untamed, unpresentable members we treat with an even greater modesty. That’s something the more presentable members don’t need. But God designed the body in such a way that greater significance is given to the seemingly insignificant part. That way there should be no division in the body; instead, all the parts mutually depend on and care for one another.
The second part of my approach is to essentially flip the negative nudge around. This begins by walking out 2 Corinthians 10:5 (ESV) “…take every thought captive to obey Christ,” so first and foremost recognize the thought for what it is: jealousy (or comparison, etc).
Next, intentionally choose to reject the idea the thought was promoting. Whether it’s “why is their ministry having faster growth than mine” or “I’ll never operate at the same level of gifting she does”, reject the negative thought. Refuse to give the negative thoughts your time or headspace.
Finally, flip the negative thought around and pray a blessing instead. For example, if I’m struggling with jealousy over the growth another ministry is having, I would declare there’s no need for competition in the Body of Christ and I would pray blessings over that ministry and ask God to continue blessing them and increasing their reach and impact. Or if I’m comparing the way I operate in a particular gift and seeing it as lesser than how someone else does, I might simply thank the Father for how He made me, declare it is good, and ask Him to bless and increase the anointing the other individual operates in.
So to recap, the first prong is to intentionally resist comparing. The second prong is to:
- Recognize the thought for what it is
- Reject the lie it’s tempting you with
- Flip it around and pray blessing
I’ve found this two-pronged approach is a powerful weapon of spiritual warfare because if the enemy knows you are going to bless whoever he’s tempting you to be jealous of, it removes the sting of what he was intending and instead brings blessing.
It’s important to note, the fact the thoughts of temptation come isn’t the problem – even Jesus was tempted, being tempted isn’t the sin – the matter of import is what you do with the thoughts when they come. So refuse to step into jealousy. Refuse to operate from a place of constant comparison. Remember we each have a role and every role has value and importance. Ask Father to clearly show you who He says you are and trust Him to give you each step of His plans for you in His perfect timing.
Father, help us to resist the lies the enemy would tempt us with. Align our hearts and mind with You, that we might see things as You see them. Help us to take our eyes off ourselves and broaden them to Your Kingdom. May we know our role within the Body and be satisfied with that which You have given us to do and be. May we offer blessing and no cursing, resist the urge to compare using human standards, and take every thought captive. And above all may You be glorified in all we say and do. Amen.