An Intriguing Question

I got a text from Andrea after she read my last post (Adrift).  In it she posed an interesting question that caused me to think a little deeper on the topic at hand…

Her question was “How are you so ok looking and acting with that kind of stuff on your mind?”

Hmm.  A very good question.

I thought… am I simply fake?  No.

So then what is it?  Here’s what I finally was able to conclude. Despite all my questions, doubts, frustrations, etc.  At the end of the day, I am still expecting You to come through.  To be who I think You are… who You’ve said You are… to be You.

I may not understand what You are doing and why… I may doubt myself and my ability to hear You and properly interpret Your word and promises, but I trust You.

So I seem ok to others… and can pull it together because it’s not worth blowing it for some school girl temper tantrum or momentary lapse of assurance.  I still want to see Your will accomplished through me and I am not annoyed enough with my current confusion to want to sabotage what You’re doing through me simply for the sake of “getting” to be upset.

Huh. Perhaps I believe more than I think I do.

One thought on “An Intriguing Question

  1. You have far more faith than I think you see. I’ve never known someone who believes the way you do. And you have honest trust in God’s promises. Don’t doubt that… I see it EVERY day.

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